Stumbling into Purpose
Once discovered we'll never be the same, and it won't matter how we found it
The whole thing felt completely serendipitous to me. Unless it was fate?
I was in Idaho and Wyoming as a tag-along with my partner Stacia, who was attending a leadership conference. I was intending to go solo, exploring wildlife and landscapes while she attended the events.
That’s not what happened.
The Situation
That any of this happened for me is thanks to another amazing person, Sandy Schultz Hessler, who was kind enough to open her home to us in the first place, and who hosted a fabulous dinner before the 2-day conference began. Speaking of amazing, she created the conference with the help of of the Teton Leadership Center from nothing. The creation of this event could be a story of its own. So could the meal that her husband prepared that evening, for 50-ish people. Unbelievable.
So there I was, really just an “extra” in the movie of the leadership weekend. But my plans changed pretty quickly. I met a bevy of amazing, generous, powerful and authentic people beginning with that Friday evening dinner, people who would be presenting at the conference, or be guests onstage, or people who helped create and operate the event. These people drew me into their worlds, irresistibly, because they were all Up To Something. Then they invited me to attend, generously making space, asking nothing in return.
And so it happened that I chose to be with them, rather than exploring the amazingly beautiful Tetons. Which, if you haven’t been there, is one of the most spectacular locations on the planet.
I did manage to make this, in a gap between events. But for the preponderance of the trip I was unexpectedly indoors.
Meet Nick Craig
Nick Craig published a book five years ago called Leading From Purpose. Nick Is a thoughtful, compassionate man who, at this point, leads leaders. From leaders of huge organizations to individuals.
I’m not going to write about Nick’s organization, his book, or their seminars. You can do that for yourself. In fact, just do it. Stop reading this article and get started, right now.
Finished?
OK then.
You may now resume reading the fine work below.
Who Can Lead
Some of you read my first newsletter, where I finally set my objective of becoming a great portrait photographer. The allure of that objective has not waned.
At the same time, as you might deduce from some of my newsletter themes, I have other objectives beyond my photography. I’ve been a leader for a long time. I’ve lived even longer. I have crazy this idea that I’ve learned a few “good ways” to approach leading and living, and if anybody is interested I want to share my conclusions. (You might not be interested, but I still want to share!)
Both Nick and I would tell you the same thing. Anybody can lead, from any position in their lives. Pick a profession that doesn’t seem, on the surface, to be a leadership role, and a person can nevertheless lead by following their own sense of purpose, even if they don’t use that language or think about it consciously. By being true to ourselves, authentically acting, we absolutely can lead from anywhere. In their home, on the streets, anywhere.
I believed all this before visiting the mountains and meeting these people. I believe I can lead even as a photographer in my daily interactions with people. That belief was a foundational reason I was able to declare my new plan to be a great portrait photographer.
Some details I’m just not sure about, though.
Alongside Photography?
Beginning that Friday night I had separate conversations with Nick and many others during my visit. In another seeming coincidence, just days before arriving, I’d been approached by a company to write a leadership book. I’d occasionally had discussions with Stacia about joining her in professional/life coaching part-time, and the book company got me thinking about that possibility once more. However. I’ve been resistant to the idea. I liked the thought of being more directly involved in coaching people. That’s appealing for sure, another way to give back.
But I worried that doing both coaching and photography wouldn’t work well, and I’d stunt my growth as a photographer.
A conundrum.
Several powerful people during the weekend suggested that I might thrive even more by doing both than by sticking with just one. I suppose it’s possible.
But making that specific choice is not the point of this story.
Initial Discussions of Purpose, and Bathing in Light
When I first sat down with Nick he was just a guy who happened to be sitting at a table with some open chairs. I didn’t know a thing about him. Not his name, profession, home town, nada. We were casually chatting and waiting for food, and he was inquisitive and intelligent. Nice attributes. We began with small talk, the conversation turned to leadership in a general way, and he asked what I was up to. I explained, including the recently-revived conundrum.
In response he talked about the process of a person finding their own, personal purpose, and he got a little bit more animated as he spoke. He declared that once found, a person’s purpose would guide their behaviors. Once discovered, purpose would always be present, and could not be ignored, and could lead anybody to do Big Things that they never previously imagined.
Ok great.
Sounded right for some people. I always figured there are some people who seem to know their life’s purpose and direction, and that’s great and all, give them a round of applause. But most of us don’t know our own purpose. Personally? I’ve never been in the “I know” camp.
Then he surprised me. I don’t know what I expected, probably some statement like “you need to do X” to find your true path forward. By this time I’d at least gathered that, as a presenter during the upcoming conference, he might include purpose in his theme. So I expected he’d have some specific recommendations about next steps.
Instead, Nick listened to my story and suggested nothing specific at all. Instead, he told me it’s great that I’m currently exploring, that exploring possibilities is a perfect place to be. The process of honing in on my own purpose might take time, but no worries, he was certain I would get there, that I was closing in on mine.
This feels like he might be correct, but caught me a little off-balance.
For years I’ve sort of expected an “aha” realization to emerge if I ever “found” my perfect calling, as I set my course. And that’s a trap.
Here’s a Nick Craig quote:
“Most of what is ‘sold’ as purpose does us all a great disservice by making us feel that we are less than those who ‘have it’ and that we must either be bathed in light or give up trying.
Nothing could be further from the truth.”
This is a big statement for some of us. Especially since that “bathed in light” thing has been awfully elusive.
I do feel that I’m honing in on mine, and it’s being accelerated by writing to you each week. I have lots of people to thank for that. I’m also becoming clearer after spending time with Nick and with the other presenters, guest speakers, and organizers at this event. I guess it was ok to be inside for a bit.
Nick’s own purpose
He’ll tell you that once uncovered, purpose becomes our most fundamental guiding force. However. This does not mean things become easy. Far from it. Purpose just becomes impossible to ignore, is all.
He didn’t tell me this directly, but contributing to others is Nick Craig’s own purpose. He’s doing that currently by explaining and demystifying these ideas for people, helping people to uncover their personal purposes and live in powerful alignment going forward. In many cases this helps them do Very Good Things because they are more aware and true to themselves, and in some cases they do Enormously Stupendous things. Nick’s current life objective stands in very sharp contrast to the first part of his professional career when, as he will tell you, he’d been chasing money and power. He did so with considerable success (when viewed by others) until everything crashed. Health, relationships, wealth, emotional well-being, everything. It took him a while to sort himself out.
Now he’d like to save others the pain and trouble of his journey. He works with huge companies, individuals, and groups in between. At this TLC conference he brought a couple of business owners forward to tell their own stories, which revealed their purposes as well. Neither of them thought about things in the way Nick does before meeting him, and they said as much. But they’ve been guided by Ways of Being that left them almost no choice but to build their businesses in their own particularly ambitious, contributing ways. And each separately agreed that, yes, their purposes have driven them. Driven to surprising successes already, with much more on the horizon.
My final (for now) take on this topic
Even if I haven’t honed my own purpose perfectly, I’m partway there, and I can tell this much:
When we are out of alignment with our purpose, we get miserable, and that’s stressful. But our purpose also alters our relationships to stress when we are in alignment with it. When we’re in alignment we can thrive in otherwise challenging situations. We cope better with obstacles and pressures.
Don’t get the wrong idea though. Don’t expect life to be easy if you find your own. You can end up attempting extremely scary things. You might live many of your days in the land of uncomfortable. If you already have a strong sense of purpose, you likely know this from personal experience.
But it’s Authentic. And you Do Things. And it’s Powerful. And you’ll figure it out as you go. Nick and his team will be happy to help if you’re struggling to get there.
And depending on what your own purpose is, it might just contain an element of whimsy too. I know mine does.
One closing note. I didn’t include it specifically above, so I’ll just tell you. Nick has all the personal qualities I look for and have mentioned in prior articles, including authenticity, generosity and vulnerability. He is not afraid to connect to people, not afraid to reveal emotions. He is genuinely happy for other people as they grow, learn, and contribute to others in their own right, and is clearly touched by the lives of others.
Top shelf, in my world view.